Tuesday, May 23, 2023
Eulogy:
At 10:14 am on Tuesday, May 9th, 2023, the world lost a most incredible man, my dad.
He was creative, he was innovative, and strong. He was one of the most intelligent people I have ever known.
An amazing man:
I could talk for hours about his life, his character. From growing up in poverty, to escaping the fate of the coal mines, hitchhiking around the country, to the numerous people he has helped – many of whom never even knew. He didn’t do it for the recognition. He did it because he could.
My dad lived by a code of morals which I have been emulating my entire life. He taught me to never hate. It was a curse word in our home. He always encouraged me and my siblings – ‘You’re a Barlow, you can do anything’. He did not want to hear us say ‘I can’t’. He would always retort – ‘Can’t is for cowards who are afraid to try’. He taught me that Family is the priority.
My admiration for him as a father and as a human is beyond words.
A story that shaped me:
One story which I tell often, and you may have heard it, is about a neighbor of ours named Ralph. He was a young boy that lived a block away and was what was called a ‘latch-key kid’. But Ralph did not stay put so my father would bring him in to stop him from wandering around.
This one time in particular, my dad left him at the table to use the bathroom. I watched as Ralph took the change from the table and put it in his pocket. I was somewhat out of sight and neither of them knew I was looking on. I was probably around 10.
My dad asked Ralph if he had taken the money. After eventually confessing and emptying his pocket contents back onto the table, my dad did some parenting. He explained how hard he had worked for that money. How that money was to take care of his family. He explained that it is wrong to take things that don’t belong to you. He told him about earning your way. He told him to never assume you know what someone else is going through and what impact your actions may have. Then he told Ralph that if he needed something, he should ask. He talked about trust, honesty, and integrity.
All the while I listened to the exchange on the sidelines and absorbed. I took so much away from that one small blip in life.
This is but one of many stories, one of the many teaching moments with my dad. The things he taught or times he was just being him and something to aspire to.
Some fun stories:
Over the last few days, I have been thinking about so many of his life stories along with some of my treasured memories. So many great stories and I promise, you would not be bored with any of them.
*How he and my mom always made our Christmases special. How he continued to do so even when we had all become adults.
*The many cars – the VW Van, the Camaro, the Ford Falcon
*Taking me to the bar down the street, Miskos to show me off to his buddies and let me play the shuffleboard bowling game.
*When my brother was born, and he had to dress me for school.
*Turning a walk-in closet into a bedroom for my brother.
*Our fun trips to Jungle Habitat, the zoos, the land of hope.
*His amazing woodwork, fixing things, teaching me to use a foot-pedaled lathe.
*His way with animals: he was able to get a parakeet to be friends with 2 cats, he built a condo for a ferret, dog houses.
*The day he gave up always wearing a hat.
*Our father/daughter thanksgivings
*The first and only time he was on a plane.
*Attending the annual car show
Conclusion:
I am so incredibly lucky to have had him as my dad. I cherish every moment I had. Every moment we, as a family, had. His family, his pride and joy.
I love him so much. So, so much. I can’t imagine life without him. It is going to leave a deep scar. But I hold onto the love he gave and all of the amazing memories through the years.
